Dear Fanfiction
by DazedDoxie
Summary: Another cliche for my cliche's quest! Read what the characters of the PJO books have to say about your fanfictions ;) I shall repeat: I DO NOT OWN PJO ALL RIGHTS TO RICK RIORDAN! And also, please don't be offended by anything written in this story, 99% of it isn't even my opinion, it's just me writing as the characters. Rated T because I'm paranoid.
1. Annabeth

**A/N Hey everyone! It's me again with yet another installment in my cliche's quest! These won't really take me that long to do, so I don't think it will be a really big commitment. Right now I'm mainly focusing on finishing up all of my current stories, but hey a writer needs to take a step back and do something brainless every now and then ;)  
So here we go: ALL RIGHTS TO RICK RIORDAN! I OWN NOTHING!  
And also BTW, these are ****_NOT_**** my personal opinions! These are what I think the characters opinions would be. Some of the stuff, I might agree with, but for the most part these are all just ****CHARACTER**** opinions NOT MY opinions!**

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Dear Fanfiction,

Oh my gods. That is all I can say right now is oh my gods. Where do I even begin?!

Ok, I know. Let's start with all of these pairings you have of _my boyfriend_ and other girls! I mean seriously, _Prachel? Preyna?_ The list just goes on! You have basically every single pairing Percy could possibly be in on here! Including some with his mom! Ew! No, no, no, no, no. Was I worried for a little while that Percy loved Rachel? Yes. But Percy is MY BOYFRIEND. He fell into Tartarus with me for Zeus's sake! Percy loves me, and that is that.

You know, there are just a lot of odd pairings in general. I mean, my _hat_ and Percy's _sword?_ How do you even come up with that?!

And what is with all of these evil Rachel stories? Rachel's one of my best friends! We didn't use to be, but we are now!

Something else that has really been bothering me: all of these stories with me being "girly". Let's get this straight: I don't wear makeup, I don't wear frilly sweaters with bows and lace, I don't do pink, and I do not do skirts. They're too hard to fight in! Most of the time I don't even brush my hair! Do you think I look at myself in the mirror in the morning and wonder what I'm going to wear that day?

There are so many stories out there with me acting very, very stupid. I'm a daughter of Athena! We don't twirl out hair around our fingers, chewing bubblegum, and giggling at boys. THAT IS FOR CHILDREN OF APHRODITE! I don't break down in tears every time I see Percy look at another girl or when I feel threatened by another girl. If I thought Percy were cheating on me (which he never would) I would hurt him. Bad. I would not go sob into my pillow and eat ice cream (well, when anyone is looking).

Also, the nicknames. I think the name "Wisegirl" is being a bit overused here. Not that I don't love that name, but Percy rarely ever calls me that. He calls me Annabeth. I'm the one who calls him Seaweed Brain pretty much every day. He only uses that name when he wants to tease me (it never really works). For the record, Percy never calls me _babe_ or _honey_ or anything like that. If he did, I'd punch him in the face.

Which leads us to the mushy stories. Not that I necessarily _hate_ reading about Percy telling me he loves me over and over again, or him proposing to me... ok I lost my train of thought for a second there. My point is that me and Percy just aren't like that. We love each other, but we aren't going to be down in Tartarus making out or acting like we're in some epic romance novel. We're best friends, so we still act like it. Whenever things do get a little more romantic between us, Percy usually messes it up by knocking something over or saying something stupid (a quality I find very cute, lucky for him).

The lemons. One word: no. We're teenagers! My mother would kill me, his mother would kill him, his father would kill him, _my_ father would kill him... just no. There's a difference between writing an innuendo on one of the stories where we're thirty something and when we're still kids.

Speaking of my family, let's get something straight. My stepmother isn't an evil witch that beats me around. Did she dislike me for a good long time? Yes. But now we're patching things up and our relationship is getting better. It isn't exactly a Norman Rockwell scenario yet, but it's getting there.

Another thing! Me cheating! Di immortales! I love Percy, and Percy alone. Luke was more of a brother to me, I just didn't realize that until it was too late. There is no other boy out there that can handle me, that I'm sure of. It took Percy five years just to figure it out!

There are a lot of good stories out there. They're imaginative, and creative, and they don't... well, do any of the stuff I just ranted about. For those stories, I give you writers a round of applause.

~Annabeth

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**Again, a lot of this is NOT my opinion! So please don't feel offended!**


	2. Percy

**A/N So does anyone have any requests for characters I should write as? I can't promise I'll get to all of them right away, but I'll do my best!**

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Dear Fanfiction,

Unlike Annabeth, I'm actually feeling pretty good right now! Almost all of these stories have me with washboard abs and being the popular guy and stuff. That's pretty awesome! I told Annabeth that she should be honored that her boyfriend was the amazing Percy Jackson, loved by millions of mortal girls, but she hit me, so I stopped talking.

Although, there are some pairings out there that kind of creeped me out. There are a LOT of Percy/Nico stories that are well written, but made it hard for me to look him in the eye the next day. Listen closely: I love Annabeth. _Annabeth, _people, Annabeth. Ok? Cool.

As much as I love reading stories about me being the super popular/everyone has a crush on him/super perfect guy in high school, I'm really not. Girls won't even look at me, and guys like to make fun of me. Now camp, that's where I'm the super awesome Savior of Olympus!

And um... I'm not evil, I didn't join any evil Titans or gods or anything, I didn't kill anyone, and I didn't cheat on Annabeth at any time. I don't know if I have an evil twin out there or something, but I promise you I am not evil.

You do realize that the Hunters of Artemis kind of hate men? Like... all men. That includes me. Thalia's kind of the exception, but that's only because we were friends before. There's no way in Hades they would ever let me join the hunt as their guardian or anything. Besides, I'm pretty sure those girls could kick my butt. I wouldn't be much of a guardian to them.

Ok, this part is kind of awkward but Annabeth and I aren't... I mean we aren't... look we aren't... ok how do I put this? Um... we haven't... oh what's that fancy word Annabeth was using? Um... oh that's right! Ok, so me and Annabeth haven't consulated (Annabeth: Percy, it's consummated). Er... right. We haven't _consummated_ our relationship yet, and we aren't planning to anytime soon. Athena was ready to murder me when she read some of those stories on here and I'd rather not get vaporized just yet.

Also, I don't say babe. Ever. I sort of like my internal organs on the _inside, _so I never call Annabeth anything other than her name. Well actually, I do call her Owlface and Wisegirl sometimes, but that's when we're joking around.

By the way, when I propose to Annabeth I won't be all sophisticated and stuff like some of you write (much appreciated, by the way!). I'll probably drop the ring or ask her to divorce on accident...

And another thing, I'm the only demigod child of Poseidon. I don't have a sister or brother that's half human, it's just me and Tyson... sort of. There are those distant relatives that tried to kill me a few times, but we don't exactly invite them to Thanksgiving dinner or anything.

And hey, where's Grover in almost all these stories? I know he kind of disappeared a while back, but he's still my best friend!

So yep! Tone down the awkward parts, but feel free to continue worshipping my "perfectly sculpted abs" and stuff!

~Percy


	3. Leo

Dear Fanfiction,

I really don't see what the big deal is with all these Fanfictions. I like them! I'm pretty much always the really funny, cool, awesome, fixer man! I like all the stories where I'm paired up with random beautiful and successful girls!

Although, those ones with me and Reyna creep me out sometimes. Reyna's scary. Like, way to scary! And the ones with me and Piper... no. Piper's cool and all, but we're just friends. I couldn't do that to Jason.

So yeah... keep up the good work everyone! Feel free to make me all powerful ruler of the world or something!

~Leo


	4. Clarisse

Listen up punks!

I'll make this short and sweet for all you idiots. I don't do skirts, I don't do heels, and I don't do makeup. Me and Smarty Pants aren't friends, we fight for the same side. Me and Prissy aren't friends, either. Sure, he's the Savior of Olympus or whatever, but he irritates me. I got his back in battle, but off the field, I'll shove his head in a toilet... or at least try.

I am not some lovesick puppy, ok? I like Chris a lot, but I'm not gonna sit there and talk about how much I like him or whatever it is girls do.

And another thing, me and Silena were friends, really good friends! That isn't mentioned a lot in any of these stories. It's always _girl Silena helps dress up Percy_ or _Silena and Beckendorf go double dating!_ That girl's a lot more hardcore than she seems.

By the way, I could kick Prissy's butt any day of the week. I just don't, in case we need him to fix the plumbing or something.

~Clarisse


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